Bring Your Buddies (and Get Them to Say Yes)

A spa day is better with friends. Getting them there is the hard part. Here’s how to do it.

1. Be straight about what it is

Tell them up front: hot tub, steam room, sauna, phones in the locker, and clothing optional if the spa is. Nobody should be surprised at the front desk. And say that the towel is always an option.

2. Sell the day

Hot rooms, a long soak, no phones, good food after, and a few hours when nobody is asking you for anything. That’s the pitch.

3. Answer the usual pushback

• “That’s weird.” It’s a quiet room full of guys minding their own business, and a towel is fine. Here’s what the first time is like.
• “I’m not a spa guy.” It’s a hot room and a hot tub. You don’t have to do anything else.
• “It’s too expensive.” There are cheaper ways in, like a day pass or hotel guest access. What a spa day costs.
• “I’m self-conscious.” Almost everybody is, a little. Straight answers here.

4. Pick the place together

Use the questions to ask a spa list, and pick somewhere that works for the most hesitant guy in the group. If he’s comfortable, everyone is.

5. Plan the day

Book the same time and arrive early. Agree on a loose plan: a circuit, lunch, a massage if anyone wants one. If you’re booking massages, ask whether they can run at the same time.

6. Go easy on the first round

Do the circuit together. Nobody has to do everything. Check in with each other, and let a nervous friend keep his towel on as long as he wants.

7. Make it a habit

Eat together after, and put the next one on the calendar before you leave.

Birthdays, send-offs, a rough month: a spa day works for all of it. For a bigger group, call ahead and ask the spa what it allows.